You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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