This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
