"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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