So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
