What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
