So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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