She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
