Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
