it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
