She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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