when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
