I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Terrible idea I love it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
