Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
