my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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