i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize