I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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