You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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