Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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