Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
