no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
