i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
