That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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