Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
