Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
