Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
