Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
