let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
