You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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