He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
