I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
