Don't you send me to vm
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
