Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
