am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
