Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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