it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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