Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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