Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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