i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I need to align my fucking chakras
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
