She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
