Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
