Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
