Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
