Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
