And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
