how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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