I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
