Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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