You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
