i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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