You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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