dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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