you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
