there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
