I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize