Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
