I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All the doctor said was why
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
