East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
