Porn is love you can see.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
