I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
