maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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