Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
