remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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