YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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