you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
