i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
