Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize