Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wish my penis had a tongue
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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