He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize