he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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